Needless to say he was a nuisance, and we didn’t want to share our time with him.Fast-forward to later that night when a jovial gentleman entered the bar offering to buy everyone a round of drinks in celebration of his new baby’s birth—everyone wanted to talk with him and offer congratulations. The first guy was taking value, while the second had something to offer, which encouraged us to give something back. Most people enjoy good jokes, and they usually appreciate the person telling the jokes. You might try something as easy as holding a door or complimenting someone’s karaoke performance.
The best way to garner his or her full investment is to first invest yourself.
Once I was unwinding with friends at a pub when a drunken bar patron asked if we could light his cigarette.
None of us smoked, but that didn’t stop him from requesting to borrow our nonexistent lighter five more times over the next few minutes.
In romance there is an elegant interplay that takes place.
I call this harmony the Balance of Attraction, which is the basis for everything I talk about when I teach men and women how to improve their dating lives.
The Balance of Attraction is comprised of four components: personal investment, reciprocated investment, comfort, and tension.
These ingredients are present in every romantic interaction. We tend to place value in the people, places, and things we spend time on.
A thousand years ago a doctor would treat your migraine with bloodletting—the removal of blood from a patient to cure illness—believing it would restore balance in the body.
Of course bleeding won’t help your headache, but physicians swore by the practice well into the 19th century.
Why did so many people support such a useless, harmful remedy? Everyone attributed the relief to blood loss, failing to understand the many thousands of variables at play. Over the years I’ve learned that men and women can improve their love lives with straightforward changes in habits and conversation techniques.
Such growth can be achieved without sleazy pickup routines, without objectifying other people, and without any of the bloodletting of the so-called pickup-artist industry.